Scattered.
That’s the only way I can describe myself at the moment. I envy all those people who have their shit together. Or “appear” to.
I feel like I’m finding my feet after so many changes.
Upheavals.
You’d think my feet wouldn’t be too hard to find – I am a size 11.
“Danglefoot” is what the bus driver used to call me when I was 13. Probably because I was always tripping over them.
I’ll be 56 in October but I feel like I’m evolving into someone new.
I just don’t know who?
I keep changing the sub-title after my name on my website.
Leeza Baric
Writer – Aspiring Artist & Film maker – Creative Writing teacher, Creator of Wobbly Woman TV, Assisted Author Services, Author, Poet…
Fuck! Even I’m confused. I am all those things and yet sometimes I feel like I’m none of them. Because I do other things to earn an income and just…live.
I’m also a mum, wife, a house cleaner and cook. I’m a bookkeeper and accountant, a marketing and advertising executive, a content creator, a videographer and editor, a counsellor, a property investor and renovator…
Phew! When we list all we do, we really are remarkable aren’t we?
As you may know, we moved out of a 600m2 Penthouse with ocean views where we had plenty of space to – breathe.
- to a tiny granny flat during a “cyclone”
- to a dilapidated, dusty old renovator at Elliott Head
- to a little cottage in Pacific Paradise.
We’ve had two lots of storage units in that time and I still can’t find all my stuff. Guy and I are going to Croatia in 13 days and we still can’t find his passport!
So yeah.
Scattered.
But, I think why I feel so scattered is because I haven’t been writing much.
We’ve started an Epoxy Flooring business (as you do). We were over renovating and saw this as a great opportunity to make some extra money.
Elizabeth Gilbert, in Big Magic, says not to give up your day job and put so much pressure on your art.
But I say, you still have to make the time to DO your art, to express, to be creative, to do the thing you love.
Or
you’ll lose yourself and feel – scattered.
Writing grounds me. It helps me make sense of the world. It helps me make sense of me. I write in my head when I’m doing the 50 million other things I listed after my name on my website. But, what’s the point if it’s a ramble in my head. Am I still a writer even if no one reads it?
Geez, my big feet sure are tripping me up. Or am I just tripping?
Wish me luck this week as I endeavour to “unscatter” myself and prepare for the trip of my lifetime, to my father’s homeland of Croatia.
Maybe all the hard work has been worth it, so I can go back to my roots, to centre myself, to write and to grow into that new person I am becoming.
Lot of Love
Leeza